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The Condom's Journey

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I was sleeping with a guy casually. One time at his place, we had had sex a few times in different places, and when we were cleaning up the apartment afterwards we joked that we couldn't find the condom. To my total horror it turned out to have been stuck inside me, and I didn't notice, or have any idea until it came out naturally a day or two later. I felt really repulsed, disgusted and embarrassed by this; also so ignorant that I somehow hadn't felt it at all, or even considered this as a possibility. I felt like I wasn't as in touch or aware of my own body as I'd thought.
Even though I had strong negative feelings when I first found out, I did some research, realised that it was something other women had experienced too. This made me feel less ashamed, and I even saw the funny side of things quite soon after. I also told the guy I was sleeping with, and he took it far kinder than I expected. I learnt concrete things (like how its even possible to have something in your vagina and not feel it + all about taking the morning after pill, which I bought straight after) but also learnt to be less judgmental of myself. Nobody can be expected to know these things about until we try or learn or read or discuss them. Sex in all its different forms and outcomes isn't something we're taught, and now I feel less shameful about things that I don't know.

written: Mar 7 2023

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